How I stopped ADHD from ruining my life
This is my story on how I went through the long and difficult process of taking back control of my mind and body, and not letting ADHD get the upper hand.
ADHD is a disorder that affects millions of children and adults, including me. This is my story on how I went through the long and difficult process of taking back control of my mind and body, and not letting ADHD get the upper hand.
Throughout my life and my younger years, I have always been someone whose mind was different, my brain had more thoughts in a second than people have in an hour, and I was either hyperfocused or not focused at all. My grades were never good, and my conduct was just as bad. Everywhere I went, problems followed. I was constantly living in a world where I didn't feel like I fit in, was always distanced from everyone and always getting into trouble. Throughout middle school, my symptoms began to turn into something that would begin to take a mental toll on me as well, and the lack of support played a crucial role in this by lowering my self-confidence and making me feel useless.
One contributing factor was that when the school chose to discipline me, they paid more attention to punishment rather than stopping the problem and providing assistance. My teachers were good at teaching the activities and helping us learn important skills. But when it came to my behavior my symptoms were considered bad habits instead of signs of concern. Unfortunately, when they sent me to the administration, the same ideas were present there.
Regardless of whether it was me or another student causing the problem, the handling of such incidents wasn't making me want to commit fewer offenses. Like the US prison system, the administration’s focus was on punishment over rehabilitation. The principal used to dismiss me any time I brought up an issue or expressed frustrations. The lack of support from the school administration, when it came to actually trying to understand me and get me help is a big element of what delayed my maturing rather than helping it. One such example of the lack of effort of the administration is when they made me sign a form saying "Don't do it again" instead of focusing on the trigger and its causes. I just needed someone with emotional intelligence, to talk to me, and help me manage my struggles. I had no plans for the future, I just thought about going to school as a task I had to complete.
Plagued by feeling misunderstood, I oftentimes felt the need to give up on school and myself. In addition, I also had very few friends throughout middle school, making me feel socially isolated at times. There was a part of me that loved playing with cameras, loved using the internet, and could do anything as long as I was determined. I never revealed this part of me, because all my life I was only told about every bad trait I had. When my weaknesses were so visible in the mirror, it truly felt like I had no strengths at all.
"From elementary through middle school, all I ever wanted was to have a successful day without medication. A day where I could take back control of myself, do what is right, and enjoy school like the rest of my friends." - Excerpt From my 2024 College Essay
However, even with all the anxiety that has built up as a result of my relationship with ADHD, I've been able to release my worries onto something I felt confident in. It started with making videos on YouTube, where I learned some things about videography and editing. Unbeknownst to me, I was slowly getting closer to discovering the biggest change of my life. I realized that if I wanted an audience, I needed to start a website so that my content could reach more people because the World Wide Web was one of the largest sources of information, where people searched for answers and found entertainment. But looking at my options on online website providers, nothing caught my eye, everything felt restrictive and annoying at most. Reluctantly, I started with a Google Site but still part of me wanted more control. That's when I finally decided to learn HTML and CSS to learn how to build my site to have the most creative control.
At first, I thought it was difficult, that someone like me couldn't possibly make websites or learn to code, with my self-confidence at an all-time low. But I decided to take a risk and opened YouTube. Using notepad, I wrote my first lines of code, and I was overwhelmed with feelings of excitement with every new line I wrote. I proved myself wrong with every line of code. I witnessed my self-confidence slowly rebuild as I built something I was proud of. By 7th and 8th grade, I was using PHP and JavaScript and learning actual programming (not just HTML and CSS). I realized this wasn't just a short-term hobby, I was discovering something that would change my view of myself. I had found my passion. Every day after school, I spent hours programming, often as soon as I got home to bedtime.
"So I opened a YouTube tutorial, opened Notepad, and it began. I pressed the keys, typed my first line of code, and a few setbacks later it eventually worked. I had done it." - Excerpt From my 2024 College Essay
This focus gave me a reason to improve in other areas, like school, because I wanted to excel in something I was passionate about. After discovering this passion, all my attention was focused on learning to write more code and the next edit of my website. During this time, I never saw the principal's office again, my C's turned to Bs and As, and I was immersed in school. I was afraid of what would happen as I entered high school, but now I felt ready to tackle the next stage of my life.
While I regret my behavior in middle school, I see it as a situation that helped build a part of me. Of course, the struggle isn't over. Even as I am almost done with high school, remnants of my ADHD remain, with inattention and time management. But now I've figured out how to cope with it and channel it into my interests. But I keep pushing through and setting goals for myself, trying to push myself to overcome these obstacles so that I can try to be the best student I can be. As my journey continues, I’m ready to take on new challenges and grow even more. To see how I handle sleep and other problems at school check out this article.
So what can this 17-year-old teach you about life and being a teenager? Well, it's that no matter where you come from or what you're doing, there is always a way to do something. Finding yourself is the first step to being happy. It means trying to discover your strengths and what makes you different from others. You don't need to prove anything to anyone except yourself because if you can show yourself that you can do it, you will be more determined than ever. When we spend too much time on our weaknesses, we forget our strengths.
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Revision assisted by: Rai via Mathematics.gg Community
