The extrovert's guide to introverts
As an extrovert, it's often hard to understand introverts and how to be friends with them. If you're like me you might feel like the person isn't paying attention to you if they are too quiet or not interested in your conversation. I have a few "introverts" as friends, and I've kind of learned how to go about them. So in this guide, I will tell you how I go about understanding my introverted friends and a little bit about introverted people in general.
What makes an introvert an introvert?
To start off we need to actually need to understand what makes someone an introvert. We tend to think it's people who just don't want to hang out with people. While this may be true for some introverts, it's not true for all of them. The true meaning of an introvert is hard to explain as the difference and meanings of the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" are not very clear. In my personal experience, each of my introverted friends has reacted differently to strangers or people they're meeting for the first time. Some of them are more talkative, some not, but they all describe themselves as introverted, and for the most part, they do keep to themselves. None of my friends really perfectly fall into this category, as they do sometimes act extroverted and sometimes introverted, it's just they are more introverted than extroverted overall. But no one I've met has ever been a complete introvert, because we are all social creatures, and it's not possible to never socialize.
How do I know how an introvert is feeling?
I just want to say that every person is different and expresses their feelings differently, the things I say here are from my personal experiences. The best way to know how an introvert is feeling is if you're friends with them. Pay close attention to body language and tone of voice. While people classed as introverted tend to not express a lot of feelings, if something truly bothers us or affects us, it will show within our body language, regardless if we want it or not. When you spend a lot of time with a friend, you will notice their normal and happy behaviors and be able to classify if they're different than usual. But if you're not sure, the best thing is to ask them how they are feeling and if they are okay. It's worth noting that usually, you'll have to be the one to talk to them and engage with them first in this area, as most shy people tend to hide their feelings. Usually, the more you hang out with an introvert the more they will start to come out of their shell and be comfortable around you. Then, if in class you notice they are quieter than usual when talking to you or something in their tone of voice is wrong, it's always good to ask if something is wrong. Truth be told, this applies to extroverts too, because even we sometimes hide our feelings to not hurt our friends or family.
How do I become friends with an introvert?
If you are looking to become friends with someone who is introverted then you should try engaging in a conversation with them about a topic you both enjoy. Try to find something in common, most of the time at first they may feel awkward and quiet around you. A good way to tell if they are genuinely interested in talking to you is to give some quiet time in between talking so that they can respond. If you talk about something you both are interested in, then don't dominate the topic, try including them and asking them questions, and listen closely. This will make sure they feel heard and the both of you can have a good connection rather than them feeling overwhelmed talking to you.
Is it hard to talk to introverts?
It's not at all hard to talk to introverts, introverts are human too, and they are part of the same social species as the rest of us. All it takes is for you to pay some attention in your conversation and try and involve them in your conversation. As with every friendship, it will take effort and understanding from both sides to truly be in a good relationship with each other.
Why is it hard for introverts to talk to others?
Introverts tend to keep to themselves a lot and tend to be classified as unfriendly. From my personal experience and from the facts this is simply not true. Introverts just have a hard time finding the right words to say in a situation. Often when talking with people they don't know they are nervous. This makes it harder for them to express themselves and often people might put them away as not wanting to make friends with people.
Please note that this guide is based on my personal experience and you may have different experiences, but most of the information remains the same. Being an introvert isn't a bad thing, it's usually just part of the person's personality. People don't have to talk a lot to you to be a good friend. From my experience, I've met some nice, talented, and caring people who are introverts. While they may not talk a lot, they are great at listening and remembering things long-term. While most people value extroverts, the truth is, being an introvert has its own strengths, and when we start realizing these strengths of being different, we will all be able to live in a more understanding, unique, and amazing society.
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